Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
