Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
