forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
her vagine was all disorganized.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
