New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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