We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
