My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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