when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
