i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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