mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
