I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
