So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
