i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
