Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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