I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
