I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
