haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
