My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
