Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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