i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize