hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
