hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Someone shattered a urinal.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize