the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize
