youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
