I wannas sexs uuuuu
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
