You can't special order awesome
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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