Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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