I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she told me i tasted like america
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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