I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
