so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
