We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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