didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize