She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
