so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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