i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
