I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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