You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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