Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
