i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
