I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
this is an emotional support booty call
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
