What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
