great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
