I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize