What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
