i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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