I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
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