So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We just shotgunned beers for America
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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