In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
