just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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