whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
