It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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