gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
