I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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