my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
