went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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