I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
