You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
