all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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