hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
