I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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