she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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