There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
