i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood and glitter go together right?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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