is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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