Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
