Someone shit on the floor
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
