You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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