Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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