good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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