we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
